In last month’s blogs we looked at the biggest mistakes new managers make, and how to fix them. This month, we are going to delve deeper into the reason why new managers make these mistakes. Spoiler alert, its usually not a lack of competence.
When most clients come to me it’s with the same issue, an issue with the strength of their managers. Many times, it’s the age old story of people being great at the job they were doing, therefore promoted to be a manager. Sadly, that is not followed by management training, but more of a ‘suck it and see’ approach. There doesn’t seem to be an understanding that being great at one role, does not translate to being a good manager. Particularly a good manager of people!
New managers don’t usually struggle because they don’t know the job. They also don’t struggle because they don’t have the capability to be a good manager. They struggle because the job changes shape overnight. Same workplace. Same team. Different responsibility. Suddenly everything they say feels heavier.
They still know what good looks like and they can spot what’s slipping. They can explain what needs to change, but saying it out loud to someone on their team feels different.
So they delay it, or soften it, or talk around it.
Not because they lack knowledge, but because confidence hasn’t caught up with the role.
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there“
Theodore Roosevelt
I have seen this play out more times than I can count. One manager I worked with could run a shift blindfolded. Customers loved them, standards were high. The moment they became a manager though, they stopped correcting small issues straight away because they didn’t want to “rock the boat”. Within a few weeks, those small issues were normalised across the team. It almost seemed like their previous confidence evaporated overnight with the promotion!
Another time a newly promoted manager would spend 15 minutes explaining something that needed a 2 minute correction. The message got lost in the explanation and the team ended up more confused than they were at the start.
It’s rarely a capability issue. It’s the discomfort of stepping into authority with peers or former peers.
A few patterns show up again and again.
- avoiding direct feedback because it feels uncomfortable
- stepping in and doing the task instead of training or coaching it
- waiting for the “right time” that never really comes
- over explaining decisions to avoid pushback
- lowering standards without meaning to, just to keep things smooth
None of that comes from a lack of ability, it comes from not yet trusting themselves in the role.
So what is the answer?
Well, as a management trainer, you know I am going to say practical, structured development that sits in real day to day situations, not in theory.
Managers don’t need endless management theory to remember.
- They need something they can use when they’re standing in front of a team member and not quite sure how to say what needs to be said.
- They need language they can rely on when confidence dips.
- They need a way to handle feedback without overthinking it.
- They need clarity on expectations so they stop second guessing themselves.
That’s where the shift happens.
Not in a classroom moment. In the workplace, in real time, when a conversation happens and they realise they can actually do it. I build my training around that. Practical tools. Simple frameworks. Repetition of the conversations that tend to get avoided. Because once managers stop avoiding those moments, everything changes. Confidence follows behaviour, not the other way round.
Supporting your new managers every day
In addition to practical training, being coached in the workplace helps. Encouraging managers to:
- Keep feedback short and specific, one behaviour, one impact, one expectation
- Say things earlier, not later. Small issues don’t improve with time
- Stop filling silence after giving feedback. Let it land
- Agree standards with the team, then hold them consistently
- Avoid stepping in too quickly. Coach first, do less
- Use the same language every time. Consistency builds confidence faster than variety
I have also seen managers turn a corner when they realise something simple. Being clear doesn’t damage relationships. The lack of clarity does more damage over time.
“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
Brené Brown
Once that is understood, the shift is noticeable. Conversations get shorter, decisions get cleaner, there’s less internal debate before speaking.
Capability was there from the start. Confidence comes from using it repeatedly, even when it feels slightly uncomfortable in the moment.
Why this is important
Small hesitation at manager level quickly turns into bigger team issues. When standards slip, it doesn’t stay small. It shows up as reduced consistency, mixed messages across the team, and a slow decline in accountability. Customers notice it first, teams follow. The impact is not always immediate, but it builds.
Key takeaways
- Capability is rarely the issue
Most new managers already know what good looks like - Confidence is the missing link
It affects how quickly and clearly managers act - Avoidance creates bigger problems
Delayed or softened conversations change standards across the team - Clarity builds confidence
Simple, consistent language reduces uncertainty - Repetition builds trust in yourself
Confidence comes from doing the uncomfortable things more than once
Action tip
Get your manager to watch their next three team conversations closely and notice where they soften language, over explain, or delay saying the actual point.
Pick one of those moments and rewrite in a simpler way:
- What they saw
- What impact it’s having
- What needs to happen next
Then say it like that, without adding extra layers.
Once managers realise that confidence is built through small, repeated conversations rather than perfect knowledge, everything starts to feel more manageable and leadership stops feeling like something they have to get right and becomes something they grow into.
