This month’s blog is inspired by a post I saw on LinkedIn. It came from an HR professional struggling with a CEO. The reason? They were being told their empathy was a weakness and that they needed to ‘toughen up’
I am sure many of us have been in that situation before.
The fact that we are all different is a great thing. It would be a very boring world if we were all the same. Not to mention a world lacking in innovation, creativity and diversity. Every workplace, family, and friendship group is made up of different personalities, each with their own motivations, communication styles, and behaviours. Understanding what drives others isn’t just about getting along, it’s the key to better relationships, stronger teams, and a more positive, productive environment.
The best teams and relationships are built on understanding, not assumption. When we take the time to learn what drives others, what excites them, what stresses them, how they communicate, and why they behave the way they do, we create stronger connections, better collaboration, and a more successful, harmonious environment. When managers understand what drives their team members, they can inspire, motivate, and lead with confidence, rather than relying on guesswork or a one size fits all approach!
My favourite tool to help people understand those around them on a deeper level is DiSC. I really believe DiSC gives us superpowers (more on that later!)
If you are not familiar with DiSC, it is a behavioural profiling tool that helps individuals and teams understand their behavioural styles and how they interact with others. At the most basic level, It works on the premise that we all fall into one of four main styles:
- D (Dominance)
Those who are direct, results-driven, strong-willed and competitive.
They value efficiency and getting things done quickly. - I (Influence)
Those who are sociable, enthusiastic, optimistic and persuasive.
They thrive on relationships and energising others. - S (Steadiness)
Those who are supportive, patient, humble and reliable.
They prioritise harmony and teamwork. - C (Conscientiousness)
Those who are reserved, analytical, detail-focused, and precise.
They value accuracy and logic.
In reality, it’s a little more complex than that. We are all a blend of all four styles, but we naturally lean towards one or two dominant styles that shape how we communicate, behave, make decisions, and interact with others. It isn’t about putting people into boxes, or giving them labels. It’s about being able to recognise how each of us, with a little bit of understanding, can appreciate what everyone brings to the table.
So what superpowers does a deep understanding of the people around you give you?
- The Message Master!
Ensures every message is heard, understood, and acted on with confidence.
People don’t just speak differently, they listen differently too. A direct, results-driven leader (D style) might feel frustrated when an empathetic, people-focused HR professional (S style) doesn’t get straight to the point. Meanwhile, the S style HR Professional may feel overwhelmed or dismissed by the D style leaders bluntness.
When we understand how others prefer to communicate, we can adapt (or stretch) our approach. Whether that’s being more concise, more patient, or more structured, we can adapt to ensure our message is heard and understood.
2. The Harmony Hero!
Diffuses tension, fosters understanding, and turns workplace battles into productive discussions.
Many workplace conflicts aren’t about what was said, but how it was said. Different personalities react to challenges in different ways:
- Some tackle issues head-on.
- Some avoid confrontation at all costs.
- Some analyse every detail before responding.
If we don’t understand these differences, we can misinterpret behaviour, seeing someone as rude when they’re just being direct, or as uncooperative when they’re just cautious. Recognising what drives others helps us take things less personally and resolve conflicts more effectively.
3. The Energy Booster!
Sparks enthusiasm, fuels drive, and keeps teams energised and focused.
Not everyone is motivated by the same things.
- Some thrive on achievement and competition.
- Others are driven by recognition and relationships.
- Some need stability and security.
- Others seek autonomy and expertise.
If a manager assumes that everyone is motivated in the same way, they’ll struggle to get the best out of their team. But when we understand what drives individuals, we can tailor our approach, offering clear goals, public recognition, support, or autonomy, so that everyone feels valued and motivated.
4. The Team Transformer!
Brings people together and helps them work better as a team.
Great teams aren’t made up of identical people. They thrive on a mix of skills, perspectives, and strengths. But when we don’t understand each other, those differences can cause friction instead of complementing each other.
- The big picture thinker gets frustrated with the detail focused perfectionist.
- The cautious planner clashes with the fast moving risk taker.
- The social butterfly struggles to work with the highly independent, worker.
- The reserved employee feels overwhelmed by the outspoken, attention-grabbing colleague.
When we appreciate why others behave the way they do, we stop seeing differences as obstacles and start seeing them as strengths.
5. The Confidence Captain!
Leads with purpose, empowers others, and guides people effectively.
Leaders who take a one size fits all approach will struggle to engage and retain their teams. The best leaders:
- Adapt their communication to suit their audience.
- Give feedback in a way that resonates with the individual.
- Know when to push and when to support.
- Recognise and harness people’s strengths.
If I ran the world, everyone would have a DiSC profile and everyone would have these superpowers. The workplace (and the world!) would be a better, kinder, more productive place.
Why do these superpowers matter?
Context influences behaviour. That high D leader we mentioned earlier might soften their approach when collaborating with the HR professional, showing more S style patience and support.
We can flex our style. While we all have a natural way of working, we can adjust it to connect better with others. For example, an I style person learning to be more structured when working with a C style colleague.
Understanding our blend helps us grow. Self-awareness is key. Recognising where we’re strong and where we might need to flex allows us to improve communication, leadership, and teamwork.
So, going back to the LinkedIn post about an HR professionals struggles with a CEO, it stands to reason different behavioural types are drawn to different jobs. Whilst not always the case, more often than not CEO’s tend to be D styles and HR Managers tend to be S styles. These styles are opposite each other on the DiSC circle (see above!) Often those styles opposite to each other on the DiSC circle find it hardest to communicate as their styles are the most different.
Before I go on, I want to make it clear that I am not saying that all CEOs are D styles with little empathy or emotional intelligence, as with anything in life, there are some that break the mould.
Equally I am not saying that all HR professionals are empathetic S styles. That said, a large proportion are and I speak here from my experience, and something I have witnessed many, many times in the last 30+ years!
Why CEOs Tend to Be D Style
CEOs are responsible for setting a vision, making tough decisions, and driving results. These are all natural strengths of a D style personality, which is characterised by:
Directness & decisiveness – CEOs don’t hesitate to make big calls, even under pressure.
Results driven mindset – They focus on hitting targets, growing the business, and staying ahead of competitors.
Risk taking & assertiveness – They’re comfortable making bold moves and pushing for change.
Efficiency over emotions – D styles prioritise speed and productivity, often preferring straight to the point conversations.
The very nature of the role demands of a CEO mean that it will naturally appeal to those that are inherently direct, results-oriented, firm, strong-willed and forceful. That’s not to say that other styles cannot be a CEO, it just means that they likely have to stretch their natural style to fulfil many of the role demands. They may find themselves out of their comfort zone much more often than a D style. They may find they have to stretch to behaviours that don’t come naturally to them and they may find this drains their energy more, as they are tapping into a way of working that isn’t automatic.
Why HR Professionals Tend to Be S Style
HR professionals, on the other hand, focus on people, relationships, and creating a supportive workplace. Their role naturally aligns with S style traits, such as:
Patience & empathy – They listen, support, and help employees navigate challenges.
Collaboration & stability – S styles value harmony and work to maintain a positive, collaborative company culture.
Reliability & consistency – HR ensures fair and inclusive processes, from hiring to performance management.
People-focused decision making – While CEOs prioritise results, HR prioritises employee engagement and well-being.
Again, that isn’t to say that only S styles can be in HR. Typically the majority tend to be S style or I style as these styles have a natural people focus, whereas D and C styles tend to be more task focused. However as stated earlier, we are all a blend of all 4 styles and HR is a wide field, so its not beyond the realms of possibility that it won’t appeal to other styles.
The bottom line is, CEO’s and HR professionals often see the world differently. Neither right or wrong, just different.
A D style CEO may see HR as too slow or too focused on employee concerns rather than business growth. An S style HR professional may see the CEO as too blunt, demanding, or lacking in emotional awareness. The biggest clash happens when the CEO pushes for rapid changes, while HR is more cautious and people focused.
Why understanding this matters
When CEOs and HR teams recognise their different strengths, they can work together more effectively:
🔹 CEOs can learn to value HR’s insights on the importance of a positive culture and employee engagement.
🔹 HR can adapt to a faster-paced, results-driven mindset when working with leadership, ensuring an understanding of the bigger picture.
🔹 Both can adjust their communication styles to avoid frustration and build mutual respect.
When D and S styles work together, businesses thrive, balancing results with a strong, motivated team. If both can learn how to firstly understand each other’s drivers, then stretch their own behaviour and
